Change came; Time to Improve. Happy 2011!!

Here it is the holiday where you begin to think about all things that have occurred for the past 364 days. On some things you smile, on some you grimace, on others you cower, on a few you'll cry tears of sadness or joy. All in all it is the time where most of you forget to be grateful for all that has and has not happened. You'll focus on resolutions and changes and what you won't do again. These amendments you keep for maybe 3o days and those with "real will power" keep for up to 60!

I will look at this year as the year of improve. Every year seems to be the "year of change", Obama's camp only coined the phrase. I don't really want to change who I am and there are not many changes I want made in my life that can take place this year. Nope. All I want to do is improve who I am and improve my life so that I can make some real changes when the time is right. Focusing on so much change can't make too many changes. Face it, if you just improved the changes will follow.

It is so hard to change habits, jobs, weight, and relationships that the January attempts usually seem too far fetched and too far gone in February, while becoming a distant memory in March. By April it's picked up again (you know, so you can achieve it for Summer), but really starts on May 1st. In June you're working hard on it, by July it's too hot and you just want to enjoy the summer. In September and October you're too busy getting back into "the swing of things", in November the holidays. In December...you'll do it for the NEW YEAR.

There is only 1 resolution I have made this holiday. LOVED ONES. I will make a much better effort to see those I love. I'm seriously tired of saying and hearing "life gets in the way". What is life without spending precious time with those I love and have a good time with? Those that live only a handful of miles away! To those I love, I promise we will see one another in 2011.

And that I can guarantee will improve my heart. Happy Improve Year to you all.

A BLACK MALE SCIENTIST Makes Huge Breakthrough in Prostate Cancer Reduction and Elimination

JAMAICAN scientist Dr Henry Lowe last night threw a lifeline to men worldwide when he announced that he had developed a formula that can reduce and eliminate prostate cancer, the number one cause of cancer deaths among males.

"I am pleased to announce that we have reached the final stages in the development of the Alpha Prostate Formula, which will be on the market in the next three months under the Eden Gardens brand," Dr Lowe told guests at the launch of Bio-Tech R&D Institute at the Terra Nova Hotel in Kingston.

Lowe, executive chairman of Environmental Health Foundation which is based at his Eden Gardens complex in Kingston, explained that the formula will be locally produced, first as a nutraceutical.

"The drug takes time and millions of US dollars to develop, so that is why we're making it available in its semi-purified form," Dr Lowe told the Observer in an interview outside of the launch.

Dr Joseph Bryant from the University of Maryland Medical School and a shareholder in Bio-Tech R&D Institute, agreed. "We have to go by the rules and the regulations as to how fast we can get it out there, but the nutraceutical thing now allows us to get it out much faster," he told the Observer.

"We cannot overemphasise the point of what this means for the country, and I hope that the younger generation will carry it on," Dr Bryant added.

Lowe's cancer research work attracted world attention when he announced that he had found properties in the Jamaican ball moss that had the potential to fight cancer.

Yesterday, he said that the formula is derived from the main ingredient in the ball moss and has been shown to have major prostate anti-cancer activity.

Jamaica has one of the highest prostate cancer rates in the world with approximately 150 men diagnosed each year. Medical experts believe that a large percentage of affected men are undiagnosed.

Yesterday, Lowe, who won the Observer Business Leader Award for 2006, noted that in addition to Jamaica, numerous cases of prostate cancer have been reported among black Americans and Africans.

"The market for that is tremendous and there are only two other products as nutraceuticals for this," he said. "This is going in there, brand Jamaica, and if we get the right thrust and the right support we have hundreds of millions of US dollars which can come to Jamaica."

Yesterday, in his prepared remarks, Lowe said that as a first step in the development of the nutraceutical industry, Bio-Tech R&D Institute has already secured capital of $25 million, which will contribute to the overall development of the institute in the next 24 months. Further capitalisation of $25 million is expected within the next 48 months.

"As a result, the only thing that could impede success is our will to succeed," said Dr Lowe.

"We will be working toward seizing a five per cent share of the global nutraceutical industry within the next two years, which translates to a multi-billion-dollar local industry -- approximately $726 billion," he said.

The Bio-Tech R&D Institute brings together Jamaica's four leading research institutions -- the University of the West Indies, University of Technology, Northern Caribbean University and the Scientific Research Council -- all of which will receive 2.5 per cent of the total shares of the institute free of cost.

In addition to his other shareholders -- Federated Pharmaceutical/Lascelles Limited and the Environmental Health Foundation — Dr Lowe said he has forged a partnership with the largest nutraceutical company in China, which will distribute the formula in that Asian country.

"We expect that gaining even one per cent of the Chinese market will amount to tremendous US dollar value export earnings — perhaps the most rewarding endeavours and investments in our country in recent times," said Dr Lowe.

Why I can't accept Park 51

To all those "peaceful" people who say "Let the mosque be": Imagine this.

You're house is set on fire by a mental patient who escaped. You're whole family died. The fire spread to some of your neighbors homes. Their families died. Roughly 50 people have died in total. You use your insurance money to rebuild your homes. You suffer through the heartache and try to move on. Your insurance company calls and says "Hey, we have some more funds to extend to rebuilding your block so we're going to build a large 9 floor mental institution across the street, four floors bigger than the one around the corner. It'll help the neighborhood understand that not all mental patients are violent."

~ A Stolen Notion

The best thing I'd ever heard from George Bush

"This relationship is based on love. I have nothing but admiration for that man and he had never let me down."

~George W. Bush

to Matt Lauer regarding his father, former president George Bush, during his first post presidential interview

I wish to hear more sons repeat these words.

I'm speaking to their fathers.

Take 5 to...

1. When you wake up sit up and stay seated on the bed. Let the blood flow through your body for a minute. Do a couple of neck and shoulder rolls, twist at your waist, pull your legs up to your chest a couple of times, and roll your feet at the ankle.

2. Play anything that your child(ren) or pet likes to play.

3. No matter what laugh with your child(ren), or listen to them laugh.

4. Get a picture of a place you'd like to visit. Cut it out of a magazine, pull it up on a website, or get a personal picture that you already have. It can be a beach, a foreign city, a spa, or simply the home a family member you haven't been able to get to. Look at it, think about getting there, be there.

5. Read about something new. Anything.

6. Clean up a room in your house. (It'll usually get the ball to roll into another room)

7. Stand in the shower and just let the water run over the top of your head or sit in the warm bath.

8. Apply some makeup (Ladies). Lotion up (Fellas)!

9. Take a walk.

10. Read a good blog ;)

You are beautiful; to a sister on the train.

You are beautiful because you can walk

outside with minimal effort made to look beautiful.

No makeup. Wearing a do'rag, rollers, a 'fro, dreads, or cornrows.

All make you beautiful

In sweats, in a skirt, fitted denim, or leggings.

All make you beautiful.

Carrying a suitcase, a designer bag, a designer fake, a shopping bag.

All make you beautiful.

Hold your money in your hand, hold your honey in your heart.

Hold your dreams in your soul.

Hold your head up through it all.

All makes you. Beautiful.

A time for change?

It is not fair to ask someone to change for your own purposes. What if you were you asked to change? "Why," you may ask, "I'm fine the way I am". Well they feel the same way. Have you considered that if they change the traits that you don't like, it may alter the traits you do like? We're all guilty of wanting someone in our lives to change. As we get older it should become clear that the solution is for us to accept the person they are or to to limit our association them. If that person is willing to change what you would like, be careful. Change can make them not like the changes and become resentful, or give them the opportunity to request changes in you that you are not willing to make. All of those create negative situations for you. Does the individual really change? Or are you setting yourself up for deception?

Not all change has negative effects. Though it is an individual choice. Someone can genuinely want to change to become a better person and in that case it is can improve a relationship. But don't forget;it can still cause other characteristics to be altered.

People are who they are. Change is unfair if they are happy with themselves. Maybe an esteem check is necessary on your part. Question why you choose to associate with people you are not happy being around. Then work on yourself. This applies to family, friends, spouses,and anyone else.

Do not expect me to be who you want me to be; Expect me to be who I am happy being and you should be happy being you.
.

Teen Mom

Have you watched "Teen Mom"? It's an MTV spinoff of their successful series "16 and Pregnant". I really like this show. I thought 16 and Pregnant was going to be some fluffy show about some well to do white girls who get knocked up, live home, and "suffer" through living with their parents, not having to work , and getting a fabulous internship from dad while attending college. I also thought it may go the other way and be super ghetto about a bunch of 16 year old hood dwelling minorities who get pregnant, go on welfare, drop out of school, and live in the projects while working in fast food for the rest of their lives.

To my surprise, it turned out to show the real face(s) of pregnant teenagers. Amber is a high school student who attempts to try to make it work with her (now) live in boyfriend. They struggle with domestic disputes that become physical and with who will pay the bills. Maci is a young lady who thinks getting pregnant, engaged, and married within a year will make a happy ending. She quickly finds out that reality is not so happy when she's living at home when filing court papers for child support. One couple were smart and figured out early on that adoption was not the easy but best answer for their child. Tyler and Catlynn come from a rather dysfunctional home and realize that bringing a baby into it would not be fair to a child. They did maturely choose an open adoption to the disapproval of their parents.

There were many more of these stories within the the show and so many more that are never televised. 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom both explore the truth in teen motherhood. Truths that all teen girls need to see. Although they do not entertain you with some ghetto hootchies that don't know how to speak proper english, they do explore the reality of having a child while in high school. Simutaneously they put first "loves" on exhibit.

This is a show I'd have my daughter watch (and hope my little sister is studying), because I often see these girls on the street, hell I knew some of them when I was growing up and find them an interested group.

I always wonder how it happens and why they think they will be the ones to beat the odds. With all the reality that surrounds them, I wonder what makes them think that they can turn a 16, 17, or 18 year old boy into a family man. Something that a lot of 30 year old women haven't been able to accomplish! And last I wonder why they'd choose such a hard road? Don't they know there is so much in life that they should look forward to past being a baby mama?

When I got pregnant at 23 years old. I felt like a "baby having a baby". I knew that my days of partying, hoping on planes when I felt like it, and spending money how I felt were over. Little did I know that so much more came with it. There were times that I seriously thought 'I can not handle this' and I'd regroup and be the mother I am supposed to be. Now that my child is six years old, I know I could not have successfully handled the type of stress that comes with a baby and relationship all at sixteen years old.

I'm not saying it can't be done. It can, I've seen it. But the chances are slim. Why even put yourself through the misery when you have options? I don't place my opinions on anyone for the option they should choose but I also include birth control in that catagory. I honestly think that is the easiest option available.

At 16 years old, I knew it'd be easier to tell my mom I was on birth control than it would be to tell my parents I was pregnant. Think about which one you or your parents would prefer to hear... Then watch Teen Mom on MTV Mondays at 10 pm or 16 and Pregnant on Tuesdays at 10 pm.

Mothers & Sons &

From the moment I decided to have my child, I prayed he would be a boy. I knew I couldn't handle a girl as I've never really been a "girly" girl. Hair grooming, periods, boys, (possible) tears over boys, and boys who may want to impregnate my Baby Girl were not what I was looking forward to. A closet full of jeans and khakis, t-shirts, sports, and swag is more my forte. My prayers were answered.

In the beginning I had no idea that I'd end up raising my son by myself. I did know I was capable of doing it, I didn't need to worry about that. Even when I began raising him by myself I didn't worry too much about going at it as a single parent.

That was until I realized I did not know how the male mind works. Yes, I know what is on mens minds but I have no idea about their thought processes, both scientifically or emotionally.

Any woman out there who says she does not need a man to raise her son is very wrong. Boys need a man to teach them how to be men. Considering the problems the black community is having, the lack of MEN is a symptom and a cause equally of many of them. There is an average of over 50% of single mother households in the black community, while the average is just over 20% for the white community. These differences can be linked to many causes however considering that fatherless men tend to create more fatherless boys; it is a vicious cycle.

Consider this: A young man is being raised by a single mother with barely any to no contact with his father. This same boy's friends do not have a male presence at home, nor do many family members. All during this time he hears women saying "I don't need a man", or "Men ain't s**t", or even better "his father ain't s**t". What do you think happens while this boy becomes a "man"? Yup. The things I want so badly to avoid with my son.

These boys have no idea of what men are and how they are supposed to perform as men. But if the chicken came before the egg; the women do not know what men are and how they are supposed to behave either. So they chose men that will continue the cycle with them.

The only way to stop this cycle is for us (heterosexual black women) to stop thinking sex has minimal consequences and realize that actually being "picky" can save you and your child from a lifetime of drama and/or misery. Lets stop glorifying misogyny and start celebrating family and pride. Lets stop telling our sons that "they ain't s**t", and start showing them that men who get respect are the ones who earn it.

What am I concerned about? I'm concerned that my son thinks 'Dads don't have to do anything' (yes he has said this to me). I am concerned that he may think that a woman needs no support so he can just love her and leave her. I am afraid that he will think a woman's duty is to bring home the bacon, fry it, and wash the dishes after not having a moment to eat it. I hope he does not put more passion into his looks, his social life, his hobbies, his music, or his own promiscuity than he does his family.

These are the lessons that are not taught in school or through verbal communication. These are the lessons that are taught through experience and example.

How will I teach my son these lessons? I hope that my monogamy will be his first example. I hope he'll recognize that not just anyone can come through our door. Next, he will support me in keeping our family so he knows a woman can not and should not maintain the household alone. And last, when he gets older and realizes that he is an only child for a reason or there is a considerable age difference between him and his sibling is because it takes time to choose who has earned a place with a woman.

Success: Not a four letter word

Success. The dictionary defines success as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Unfortunately many people are not reading the dictionary. People use the word success interchangeably with rich all of the time. Being successful has nothing to do with money unless money has a direct impact on your goal i.e. an investment banker. Still, be clear that being rich does not make you successful; and you may not be successful if your aim is to be rich.

Many successful people are not rich, many people are rich but far from successful. "They must be successful if they are rich" you say? Nope. These people have positions and opportunities that pay well...very well however their position has nothing to do with their aim or the life that they want. Most of us know at least one of these people. On the outside they are successful because they attain many material things. They are missing the one emotion that would complete them; success.

You must look at success as an emotion in order to really understand it. I suggest happy and success should be used interchangeably instead of rich. Some people have goals that are within arms reach, others have goals that are up next to the sun. The completion of these goals may or may not come with a large paycheck. Does it make the accomplishment of the goal any more or less of a success?

I didn't mean for this post to coincide with the last, but I have to refer back to living what you love, the successful people and the people aiming for success comprehend the LWYL attitude quickly.

Being successful has nothing to do with how many cars you have or how many homes you own. It has everything to to do with accomplishing your goals which may help you attain cars and homes.
In order to be successful you must constantly remind yourself of your goal, then take the steps to achieve it. This way you can say "Yes, I am successful!". Then make another goal and be a success over and over again.
Remember it is not important that you are successful to others, your success is evident to those who understand value.

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