BLACK LOVE

I've always been somewhat of a concert whore. I love live shows, I'll go out of my way to see an artist that I especially adore. Today I attended Summerstage. It was wonderful. The weather was perfect, I had one of my closest friends by my side, the artists were amazing, and what can be bad about that all happening in Central Park located in one of the best city's in the world? Nothing.

We decided to sit in the designated "picnic" area for the last act so we could take a breather;Yosh brought her spontaneous picnic blanket, very handy like most cute little Japenese inventions. Yosh grabbed a couple of sodas and an order of fries from the refreshment stand. While she was there, I noticed the young woman sitting next to our blanket. 'Hmm, she looks familiar', I thought, 'Hm, not sure but I like her dress'. Yosh came over and I glanced over at the young sister once more trying to remember. I couldn't but then I really noticed her hair. It was BIG. It was BEAUTIFUL. A 'fro that was combed out and messy, it still had a light curl to it though. It had that loose wet look. Of course I looked at her again to confirm that I didn't know her from...anywhere. After that I began to comb over the crowd. Because the performers were some of R&B's sexiest crooners, the audience consisted mostly of females. Looking out I observed many styles of braids, twists, locks, 'fros, and styles galore. I then took note of the beautiful dresses and accessories in the crowd;none of which I'd seen in the trendy West Village or on the red carpet... Between these observations Yosh and I chatted about the show, shoes, and anecdotes about day to day life. We shared the fries and killed those ice cold beverages on this hot hot but wonderful day. I realized that it was 5 o'clock and I needed to head home.

As I made my way to the exit, which meant we had to go the entire circumference of the crowd, I saw so many beautiful creatures I had to smile. So many shades of cream, brown, and black;so many lengths of dreads, 'fros, knots, and twist; so many curves those of S's, 8's, 0's, B's,; so many prints and colors. Just pure beauty. And I stopped and thought about how years ago during the Neo-Soul movement how I loved attending shows, half-way just to be part of these beautiful creatures. Then I thought 'And they are all mine. BLACK FOLK. My kind of people.' I took one more quick glance over the crowd and reaffirmed what the media, fashion, and "education" have tried so hard to take away from me...THE LOVE OF MY PEOPLE. THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTY BEYOND COMPREHENSION.

I recently heard Maxwell say in interview, "Neo-Soul was a movement, now its a culture that we must upkeep". And so true it is!

If we aren't getting it from external sources, then WE must get it from ourselves, and remind each other regularly. I LOVE YOU.

TOOL TIME: DO YOU NEED A MAN?

There was a time, not long ago, when you could count on a man to come by to install your AC, paint your kitchen, or fix your leaky faucet. That "man" could be 15 years old or 50 years old. Those days are slowly fading away.

Metrosexuals immediately came to mind when I originally came upon this peculiar species of males that can barely change a lightbulb, let alone rewire a lamp. You know these men; they are the ones that have every hair in place (or the right ones out of place), can style you better than you, and spend just as much time as you (if not more) getting ready for the day. These men have been seduced by GQ and Kanye West. Manicured fingernails and fresh Nikes are part of their uniform. The men I speak of are not of a time when men who took a moment in the mirror were instantly labled homosexual, they don't know that a man only dresses for church (weddings and funerals), a job interview, or for a date. These men are looking proper... for themselves.

Now ladies, there was a time when we were saying to our sons and husbands, "Are you really going to wear that?", or "Have you even looked in the mirror?". But times have changed! Something about men utilizing an iron made them forget how to utilize a hammer. Or is it something more? Can this lack of "ahem"...masculinity be attributed to the lack of fathers and masculine role models for men of the last and current generations? Think; 'How did those boys learn the difference between an adjustable wrench and a socket wrench? Who showed him how to execute and appreciate that nice even coated ceiling paint job? Who was going to hang your new 50 inch flat screen if your husband wasn't home?' The answer was 'Any man you know'. Nowadays, you may have to sit for a moment and think about who can do it.

I was the first child of my parents, and the first grandchild as well. I, like many black women, was raised to be independent.."depend on no man" was the mantra I heard many times from both my mothers and fathers. My father and grandfather meant this not only to mean financially, but also domestically. From a young age I was taught how to use tools, fix things, paint, plant foods (yes in NY), and a whole heap of other "manly" responsibilities. When I got my first apartment at 18 years old, I received a toolkit from my dad as a house warming gift. I was thrilled to receive it ( and I still have it). My mother and grandmother were also handy women. They were married, but still were able to do a lot of the "men's work" around the house. I always assumed these lessons were so that I would be an Independent Woman, but now I wonder if my parents were psychic in some way. Did they see that I would end up married to a man that wouldn't know how to install a window air conditioner properly, or live with one who admitted "supervising" was his best attribute to putting things together? Did they know that when I needed heavy boxes moved at the office, it would be me and my female assistant doing the job?

You see in 2009 I've found that with all the males you may know, you may only have 1 or 2 that can come by and hang your new light fixture or put your new Ikea furniture together. You may even know 0 and resort to paying contractors for trivial fixes.

My suggestion is this: "Ladies grab a philips head and do it yourself. Pull your daughter to your feet while you do it; because at the current rate, she'll have a cooking spoon in one hand and a putty knife in the other (after she gets home from work)".