TOOL TIME: DO YOU NEED A MAN?

There was a time, not long ago, when you could count on a man to come by to install your AC, paint your kitchen, or fix your leaky faucet. That "man" could be 15 years old or 50 years old. Those days are slowly fading away.

Metrosexuals immediately came to mind when I originally came upon this peculiar species of males that can barely change a lightbulb, let alone rewire a lamp. You know these men; they are the ones that have every hair in place (or the right ones out of place), can style you better than you, and spend just as much time as you (if not more) getting ready for the day. These men have been seduced by GQ and Kanye West. Manicured fingernails and fresh Nikes are part of their uniform. The men I speak of are not of a time when men who took a moment in the mirror were instantly labled homosexual, they don't know that a man only dresses for church (weddings and funerals), a job interview, or for a date. These men are looking proper... for themselves.

Now ladies, there was a time when we were saying to our sons and husbands, "Are you really going to wear that?", or "Have you even looked in the mirror?". But times have changed! Something about men utilizing an iron made them forget how to utilize a hammer. Or is it something more? Can this lack of "ahem"...masculinity be attributed to the lack of fathers and masculine role models for men of the last and current generations? Think; 'How did those boys learn the difference between an adjustable wrench and a socket wrench? Who showed him how to execute and appreciate that nice even coated ceiling paint job? Who was going to hang your new 50 inch flat screen if your husband wasn't home?' The answer was 'Any man you know'. Nowadays, you may have to sit for a moment and think about who can do it.

I was the first child of my parents, and the first grandchild as well. I, like many black women, was raised to be independent.."depend on no man" was the mantra I heard many times from both my mothers and fathers. My father and grandfather meant this not only to mean financially, but also domestically. From a young age I was taught how to use tools, fix things, paint, plant foods (yes in NY), and a whole heap of other "manly" responsibilities. When I got my first apartment at 18 years old, I received a toolkit from my dad as a house warming gift. I was thrilled to receive it ( and I still have it). My mother and grandmother were also handy women. They were married, but still were able to do a lot of the "men's work" around the house. I always assumed these lessons were so that I would be an Independent Woman, but now I wonder if my parents were psychic in some way. Did they see that I would end up married to a man that wouldn't know how to install a window air conditioner properly, or live with one who admitted "supervising" was his best attribute to putting things together? Did they know that when I needed heavy boxes moved at the office, it would be me and my female assistant doing the job?

You see in 2009 I've found that with all the males you may know, you may only have 1 or 2 that can come by and hang your new light fixture or put your new Ikea furniture together. You may even know 0 and resort to paying contractors for trivial fixes.

My suggestion is this: "Ladies grab a philips head and do it yourself. Pull your daughter to your feet while you do it; because at the current rate, she'll have a cooking spoon in one hand and a putty knife in the other (after she gets home from work)".